Full disclosure: This is going to be a bit of a personal post. I am going through some ~transitions~ with Blush (you may have noticed our new app and unlimited chat service, yes?!) and am on the brink of needing to level up in order to take Blush to where it needs to go. So while this post is still about *you* and how to gain the confidence for personal growth – I’m also simultaneously giving myself my own pep talk for my own personal growth! 🙂
Personal growth is hard. Moving forward is intimidating. And while it arguably might be harder to stand still – that doesn’t diminish the fear of transitions. We’ve all learned they come with their own set of self-doubts, insecurities, triggers, and other fun little stress monsters hiding under our adult beds.
But change comes whether we welcome it or not – and my preference is to gain the confidence to take every opportunity for self-exploration.
Guess that’s the life coach in me.
So…here we are. I’m going to detail how I mentally prep myself to gain the confidence for my own personal growth, and I hope you can relate – or even learn! – from some of my tips.
Double Down On Your Strengths
This the oldest trick in the book, and one of my personal favorites.
I am so TIRED of the false narrative that we need to be all things in order to succeed.
Think about it. Apparently we need to be logical, warm, considerate, tough, detail-oriented, big picture-minded, commanding, approachable, professional, relaxed, easy-going, in-control, flexible, structured, introspective, communicative….
Like what gives, y’all?
It’s impossible to adopt every quality you “should” have in order to fit the American ideal. And I don’t know about you, but I personally feel like I’m the exact opposite of what most leaders traditionally possess. I’m messy, not professional in the least, disorganized, and randomly enough I hate wearing shoes or pants with any sort of button on them.
The list goes on.
But so what? I do happen to have a lot of qualities that are pretty valuable in my humble opinion, even if they don’t fit the norm. So that’s why I lean HARD into them, and so should you.
I don’t want you wasting any time feeling like you need to fix something about yourself in order to gain the confidence for your own personal growth.
You are going to succeed because of the strengths you already have – and those who are smart, know that it’s much more 1) productive and 2) fun to expand your strengths rather than hyper-focusing on your weaknesses.
Yeah, I know – as a life coach, I should be telling you to double down on self-improvement, which usually means tackling those weaknesses one by one.
But I call bullshit. Unless your weaknesses are totally ransacking your life and preventing you from true personal growth, let’s hitch our wagon to your strengths and see where it takes us. Otherwise, how are you ever going to gain the confidence for what’s next?
Double down on your strengths. Put time in on your writing. Hyperfocus on your networking. Spend your time organizing. Dump your attention into problem solving. Whatever it is that makes you unique – bold it and capitalize it. You’ll be so much happier, and people will value you for exactly what makes you special, rather than any shortcomings that don’t even matter!
Delegate Your Weaknesses
Don’t spend your time banging your head against a wall trying to become someone you’re not.
Instead, how about you look around you and find someone who balances you out? There’s millions of people on this planet who have their own unique set of strengths, and you’re telling me that you can’t find anyone to help you out? You can’t find ONE person who excels in what you totally suck at?!
……………
….see how arrogant AND dumb we seem when we try to do everything ourselves?
It takes vulnerability to admit that you shouldn’t – or can’t – handle everything yourself. That’s true personal growth.
I don’t know about you, but I suffer from massive guilt when I delegate or outsource things I believe I *could* do myself. And let me tell you – that guilt serves absolutely no purpose. All my guilt does is block opportunities from others while simultaneously shaming me into oblivion.
Dumb, dumb, dumb.
Get really comfortable with things you’re not good at. Real comfortable. Write them down! I’ll go first.
- Sales
- Organization
- Not taking things personally
- Data/Analytics
- —
Okay FINE – the list is longer than that but to be honest that’s none of your business now is it!!!!
Kiddinggggg – I just really didn’t feel like going through ~everything~ because this post is all about your personal growth, not tearing me down!
🙂
So as you can see, the things I’m bad at are definitely needed when running an online business. I need to ask people to buy our services. I need to be organized (that’s just a given). I need to not take everything personally because this is a ~business~ and not who I am as a person. And yeah, it’s probably good to be real comfortable with data and analytics if you want to grow.
But neener neener neener – I suck at all of it!
I needed to gain the confidence to ascend to a position as CEO, not get caught up in my shortcomings. So I outsource it! So I collaborate with others who are good at some of this stuff! So I use free online resources to automate things!
I find shortcuts wherever I possibly can so I don’t have to shame myself into becoming an organized salesperson who is also data savvy. Because unfortunately that person’s name is not Kali.
….And NO I’m still not organized but whatever, you can’t win them all.
Point is, I don’t waste my time focusing on what I suck at when I could just find someone else to collaborate with. It’s truly a win-win situation.
And just a quiet note – not all of these relationships are secured with money.
I also rely on this line of thinking in my relationship, in my friendships, in my personal life…all of it. Anytime someone brings something to the table effortlessly that would take a ton of my energy – I let them run with it. I try my best not to feel inferior, guilty, possessive – none of it. Yes, sometimes those feelings creep up, but frankly they don’t serve me. So I release them, and let whomever do their thang while I sit back and benefit greatly.
And so can you. Let those weaknesses be someone else’s strengths, and you just keep on moving forward on your own personal growth journey.
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