Today we are going to tackle a *fundamental* part of life coaching: learning how to build your self-esteem.
We are going to go over five simple steps to get you started. And, the good news is, if you’re more of a video person, Coach Elise recorded these five steps for her weekly series, Five Tip Friday! Be sure to follow us on Instagram if you’d like to stay in the loop 🥰
Let’s get started.
Acknowledge Your Personal Strengths
This is personally one of my favorite tips in life. Why focus on your weaknesses when you can hone in on your strengths?
Before you even TRY to say “you don’t have any” – stop. I’m not here for that kind of attitude. You do have strengths. And by “strengths” – I don’t necessarily mean talents. Strengths can be all sorts of things. For example, one of my strengths is being efficient. I love efficiency. I love getting things done in a very timely manner so I can chill out for the rest of the evening. It brings me joy.
Is efficiency considered a talent?
But that doesn’t take away from the fact that I am very good at getting shit done.
So what are your strengths? And for that matter, what are your talents, too? Are you a good public speaker? Chef? Designer? Writer?
Are you organized? Detail oriented? Communicative? Kind? Funny?
These traits do not define who we are – but they certainly give us clues. And the more you focus on what makes you different, the more familiar you’re going to be with what makes you excel.
The goal is to set yourself up for success. Don’t worry – it’s not like you won’t be faced with your weaknesses every damn day. You will. So feel free to indulge in your strengths whenever possible so you can begin to feel GOOD about yourself.
Feeling optimistic just feels GOOD. Believing that things will work out for a reason – or that everything will end up being okay – gives us a sense of peace. So when you are trying to figure out how to build your self-esteem, it’s important to incorporate optimism in appropriate situations whenever possible.
I mean seriously, what’s the worst that could happen? You’re disappointed after having your hopes up?
As Ted Lasso says – it’s not the hope that kills you. You’re going to be disappointed regardless of what happens.
But being optimistic builds your self-esteem, confidence, resilience, and of course – positivity. We become much. happier people in general when we’re not bogged down by the “what ifs.”
So go on.
Unleash your inner positive side and try not to worry too much about what’s coming next. Instead, practice gratitude. focus on what you have today and now (it’s more than you realize) and try not to get too caught up in the pessimism trap. Optimism is your new best friend.
Do you know yourself?
Learn more about yourself and your values with our free assessment.
Tell Your Inner Critic to Shut Up
We all have an inner critic. Typically, she’s a nasty cranky bitch who can’t let you just live in peace.
Elise’s inner critic is named Barb. Mine’s named Kiki. And when our inner critics pipe up and try to tell us that we aren’t the fabulous, motivated, on top of their shit women that we are, we have a word.
A stern word.
Don’t be afraid to fight back whenever your inner critic pipes up. She is responsible for reaffirming destruction thoughts in your mind. That’s right – it’s not YOU doing it – it’s Barb.
In order to learn how to build your self-esteem and not become victim to these negative cycles, you’re going to have to develop a keen awareness of when she tends to pipe up. Call her out. Get in her way. And even better, replace her cruel words with positive affirmations.
The more you stay on her, the less she will wreak havoc on your self-esteem.
Do Not Aim for Perfection
When learning how to build your self-esteem, it’s best to not set yourself up for failure.
Seems obvious, right?
Unfortunately…it’s really not. A common technique on how to build your self-esteem is typically pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Pick up a new skill. Try something new. Set a fun goal. But often along this journey, we have a picture in our end of the end result.
And typically that picture looks a lottttt like perfection.
And as we know, perfect isn’t real. It doesn’t exist. And while it’s so good to have tangible goals, it’s not good to have zero flexibility within those goals.
We have to adjust to what we are capable of producing. So that means, it’s great to aim for your best, not for perfection. Don’t compare yourself to other results. Don’t worry about how everyone else is producing or performing. They are not you. And if you are going to build your self-esteem, you’re not going to do it while you’re looking over your shoulder.
And if you are a total newbie at this, start small. Clean your room. Do the laundry. Wash your face. Do small things that will build your self-esteem slowly but surely.
But if you’ve decided to take on something bigger (yay!!!!) – aim for your best. Give it your best. And if all else fails, become best friends with good enough.
Be Your Own Best Friend
Truthful? Also yes.
You have to have your own back. You have to cheer for yourself. It’s simply too big of a responsibility to leave to someone else. But you can do this.
You can tell yourself “Whoops, I’ll do better next time.” You can forgive yourself for making small…and big errors. You can decide to let it go and focus on something else. You can defend yourself when you mean no harm, and celebrate your successes when you really knock one out of the park. You can be your biggest cheerleader.
All you have to do is talk to yourself and treat yourself like you do your best friends. That’s it.
You can do this. And if you need a little help, you are in the perfect place. Blush Life Coaches are the *best* people to get you motivated, happy, and feeling so much better about yourself.
Join today and let’s build your self-esteem together.