Self love is the ultimate personal growth endeavor. By learning how to love yourself, you’ll also learn how to find happiness, love, success, fulfillment, and contentment. Learning how to love yourself first isn’t easy – and this is not something that is going to happen overnight. But if you can commit to practicing self love as much as possible, I promise you’ll see the benefits.
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I’m going to walk you through a few of my self love tips to help you practice on your own. But remember, if you really want to accelerate your results, I always recommend working one-on-one with a life coach. They will keep you accountable and offer tailored advice on how you as an individual can work towards effortless self love.
Let’s get started!
Do Things For Yourself
There’s an old school political philosophy that I follow religiously when it comes to self-love.
The theory goes that in order to get people to invest in you, you need to get them to do stuff for you, and not the other way around.
Which means, you need to start doing a lot of nice things for yourself.
The more you do things that show you love yourself – the easier it will be to believe that you love yourself.
Think about it: We love to get returns on our investments. That’s why we tend to stay in bad relationships too long or stay at the poker table for one more try to break even. We want to see our investments generate exciting things for ourselves!
Therefore, the more you get used to doing nice things for yourself, the more invested you will be in your own happiness.
Say Nice Things to Yourself
What does your inner monologue sound like? Is it rude? Hurtful? Spiteful?
We have to change that if you’re going to love yourself.
You wouldn’t criticize your friends like you do yourself. You wouldn’t yell at your dog. And you definitely wouldn’t insult your house plant.
So if you’re treating a succulent better than you’re treating yourself, what in the world are you even doing with your life?! This isn’t to shame you – this is to make you see how low you’ve set the bar when it comes to being nice to yourself. In order to love yourself, you have to be kind.
Actively tell yourself that you are trying your best. Tell yourself things that you admire about yourself. Encourage yourself when you’re feeling frustrated. Try to keep your thoughts centered on YOU and not what others think about you. All that matters is what you believe – and we can change those negative jabs to loving compliments with practice and dedication.
In my humble opinion, I believe done is better than perfect.
Which means I fuck up a lot.
This used to really grind my gears. I hated failing, and would beat myself up religiously – even if I KNEW I didn’t put the effort required into producing a perfect result. This non-stop berating of myself led to a lot of self-confidence and self-love issues over time.
It wasn’t until one day when I was about 23, I actually became aware of what I was saying to myself.
It was ugly.
It was right then and there that I decided I needed to love myself more, and in order to do that, I needed to start watching what I was saying to myself. The quickest, easiest success I had was learning how to immediately forgive myself in the moment.
Forgiving yourself stops the negative cycle of insults aimed directly inward. Instead, practice saying “That’s okay, you’re only human” and moving on. Not only is it the truth – it’s the most helpful thing you can say to yourself in the moment. You already know you’ll try harder next time, and you probably already know how you can improve. So forgive yourself and focus on what’s next.
Ask Yourself What You Want First
You gotta love yourself first before anyone else – and it starts with this.
Let me guess: you are used to assessing what ~everyone~ else wants first before even daring to ask yourself what you want first?!
Tsk tsk tsk.
If you want to love yourself, then you need to love your thoughts, opinions, wants, needs, and everything in between. It is not selfish to ask for what you want, even if that directly conflicts with someone else’s wishes.
That’s why compromise exists.
But you gotta advocate for yourself, because everyone else is advocating for themselves. And no one is going to have your back more than you will.
Your opinions have worth. Your thoughts have meaning. Your wants have reasons. Your needs have priority.
It’s on you to let them be heard. And the more you voice what you want, the more you’re going to see how much value you actually bring to the table – which will easily translate to loving yourself more and more.
Self Love Quotes
I find that quotes are a succinct and easy way to implement an intention into your everyday life. Therefore, here are some self love quotes to help you on your journey on learning how to love yourself first:
“Love yourself first, and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”Lucille Ball
“What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create.”Buddha
“I learned a long time ago the wisest thing I can do is be on my own side.”Maya Angelou
“You’re healing, and that terrifies them. They’ve never met a woman who can break several times and put herself back together using nothing but self love.”
“Loving yourself isn’t vanity; it’s sanity.”Katrina Mayer
“Be the partner to yourself that you want.”Lizzo
“One of the most courageous decisions you’ll ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul.”Brigitte Nicole
“I’m doing this for future me, so that she gets to live the life she deserves.”
“Self-love, self-respect, self-worth…there is a reason they all start with “self.” You cannot find them in anyone else.”
Sending you so much ~love~ on your journey to self love and learning how to love yourself FIRST. Blush you!