Dating can be ridiculously intimidating. It’s like we decided to mix flirting with a job interview just for kicks. So we totally understand why you might feel all in your head and anxious about dating. So here it is, the best dating advice you’ll ever get so you can make it through dating season with your head held high. This advice is inspired by the card game We’re Not Really Strangers (also the best game ever!). Keep reading for seriously – the best dating advice you’ll ever get.
And, if you’re more of a video person, we have that, too!
Focus On How *You* Feel
If you go into the dating game fixated on whether or not somebody likes you, you’re going to get burned out pretty quickly. It’s simply too much pressure and too much effort to amp yourself up to impress someone date after date. Instead, focus on whether you like them. Ask about their values. Learn about their family. Talk about future goals. Get familiar with the basics and ask yourself if you enjoy talking to this person. Then, as the dates continue, ask if you’d like to spend even more time with them. Then ask if their lifestyle fits in with yours, and so on and so forth. Our best dating advice? The more you take ownership of dating instead of wondering if anybody likes you, the more enjoyable – and successful – it will be.
Stop Choosing What Isn’t Choosing You
If you try to force situations that are not reciprocal, it’s going to absolutely destroy your self-esteem. Some of our best dating advice is to make sure every situation you are pursuing is mutual. It’s great if you’ve decided that you like somebody and focused on whether you liked them instead of if they like you….but at some point, they need to choose you back. Unbalanced situations are going to drive you crazy. First of all, who wants to feel like second fiddle? No one. It’s horrible. Second, you don’t want to waste time on a situation that isn’t going to serve you. You have other people to be dating and exploring, and wasting time on someone hoping they’ll eventually develop feelings is a pipe dream. You’re awesome. People should see that pretty quickly. And third – the more effort you put into this situation, the less effort you’ll be putting into a situation that could easily be mutual.
Stop wasting that time and let’s move on!
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Is There Potential for Friendship?
When dating somebody, always ask yourself the magic question, “Would you be friends with this person if you were not attracted to them?”
If the answer is no, then what are we doing here? You need to be dating someone you like, respect, and admire. Not somebody who is just hot and….yeah that’s it. Our looks are the only thing that are guaranteed to change in this life. Values, sense of humor, personality traits…those are usually with us for life. Our best dating advice is when you’re dating somebody, a friendship absolutely needs to exist. It’s fine if you just want a fling – go for it – but accept the fact that’s all this ever will or should be.
Plus, if you answered “yes” and the relationship doesn’t work out – boom! – you have a new friend. Win/win.
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Notice Patterns and Red Flags Early.
If you want the best dating advice, here it is: stop being shocked by repeating patterns. Seriously. If a behavior you are not a fan of has popped up more than once, it’s officially in pattern-territory. Three times? Forget about it. We have a full blown unhealthy pattern on our hands, and it’s up to you not to ignore it. The earlier you can catch red flags, the better. So if you’re serious about dating, stop giving people you barely know the benefit of the doubt. The benefit of the doubt should be reserved for people who you know well and who typically don’t act out of order. There are too many amazing people out there ready to meet you to waste anymore time in pattern hell.
Rejection is Not Personal
Even though it TOTALLY feels like it is. But the thing is, rejection is more about compatibility more than about inherent worth. Rejection doesn’t mean you aren’t a good person. Rejection doesn’t mean you aren’t an attractive person. Rejection doesn’t mean you’re a boring person. Our best dating advice is to accept the fact that rejection simply means that the two of you weren’t going to make it in the long haul, and that’s something you’d rather find out now rather than later. Rejection means you’re one step closer to finding the right person.
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Need Some Dating Support?
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