There’s a nasty rumor floating around that self-punishment and self-criticism will lead to bigger results, more success, and higher accolades. We’re not sure *where* this started, but it seems to be prevalent not only amongst our clients, but in society as a whole. Luckily, we are here to challenge this rumor and show you that self acceptance, or learning how to love yourself, is the key to a happier, more successful, and fulfilling life. Which is great, in theory. But what if you’re not even sure where to start?
Luckily we have five easy tips to get you started! And, if you’re not that big into reading, we have a video that Coach Elise put together so you can absorb the five tips quickly below.
Get To Know Yourself
Let’s start with the basics: you can’t practice self-acceptance and learn how to love yourself without knowing who the hell you are. Warning: this is the fun part. We want you to do a deep dive into getting to know yourself inside and out. Dig into personality tests and assessments. Do a value activity (get yours below!). Build in some time for reflection and figure out exactly what you want. Try to silence the voice of others in order to hear your inner voice. Get out of your comfort zone and take a risk. Force yourself to be vulnerable. All of these things will show you how you react in certain situations, what drives you, what scares you, what holds you up, and what excites you. The more you know about yourself, the closer you’ll be to being able to accept and love yourself.
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Practice Kindness
The next step to self-acceptance and learning how to love yourself is to start showering yourself with kindness as much as you possibly can. Lean into your strengths whenever possible instead of focusing on your weaknesses. Whenever your strengths deliver a success, celebrate them. Every single one of them. When a mistake is made, learn from it and drop it. Avoid shaming yourself, criticizing, or any other form of punishment. Speak kindly to yourself as much as you can. Silencing your inner critic will be huge here.
Not only must you incorporate kindness into your daily routine to practice self-acceptance, but you must also make a concerted effort to eliminate rude or aggressive messages as well. Hear me when I say: You. Are. Doing. The. Best. You. Can. If you can live life with that mentality, it’s going to be so much easier to give yourself a break and offer kindness, support, and forgiveness at every turn. Learning how to love yourself doesn’t happen overnight, but it grows day by day. So the little things matter.
Once you get into the habit of being nicer to yourself, it will be so much easier to accept yourself for exactly who you are, and love yourself freely. Having a positive and healthy relationship with yourself will allow you to see yourself in a much kinder light.
Forgive Yourself
This might sound self explanatory – but this goes a little bit deeper than forgiving yourself for forgetting to turn the coffee pot off or not unloading the dishwasher in a timely manner.
Instead, we want you to forgive yourself for the *big* things. In fact, we want you to spend at least an hour reflecting on this before you even begin this activity. So dig deep. What’s a mistake that keeps irking you? Is there something you are deeply ashamed of, or afraid will repeat again? Do you feel as if you can trust yourself? What is holding you back?
Sit and reflect with these questions. Once some answers start bubbling up, write a letter to yourself forgiving yourself for anything that you’re having trouble letting go. Tell yourself that you’re human, that you were only trying your best, and that you are capable of learning from your mistakes. Tell yourself that you are actively trying to improve every single day – which is an incredible accomplishment for anyone. Tell yourself that you are on a self-improvement journey and that you’ll only continue to grow and heal with time. And lastly, tell yourself that you are proud of yourself for the person you’ve become, and the person you will be tomorrow.
Once you’ve released all of that negative energy, you’ll notice you’ll start to feel lighter and more open to loving yourself. Self-acceptance isn’t too far off now!
Challenge Self-Limiting Beliefs
Are there things you tell yourself on a daily basis that aren’t true? Do you talk yourself out of certain opportunities because you don’t think you’re good enough? Do you seek out situations to reinforce things about yourself that you don’t like? Do you routinely remind yourself of things you aren’t capable of?
If you answered “yes” to any of the questions – these are clear signs that you have self-limiting beliefs. And it’s time to get rid of them.
To get started, try using the worksheet from You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. It goes over self-limiting beliefs and ways in which to challenge them. Acknowledging that these self-limiting beliefs are myths, and not fact, is a great place to start. You can also try to find actual proof to disband your limiting beliefs.
For example, if you were to tell yourself “You’re not smart enough” – try and reflect on a time where your intelligence helped you achieve something. Perhaps you scored well on a test, or got into college, or solved a tricky problem at work. No matter how hard you try to tell us otherwise – we *know* there is at least one, if not many, examples that will completely disprove your self-limiting belief. The more you take the time to challenge them with cold, hard facts, the sillier they are going to sound.
Do you know yourself?
Learn more about yourself and your values with our free assessment.
Surround Yourself With Good People
Take a quick mental inventory of the people you routinely interact with. Are they nice? Supportive? Kind? Do they cheer you up when you’re being hard on yourself or offer words of encouragement when you’re feeling down? Do they have your back no matter what and remind you that once again – you’re doing the best you can?
If they don’t, then we’re in some trouble.
You need to surround yourself with people who love the holy moly out of you. People who inspire you to love you because, HEY, you can’t be so bad if these people are choosing to spend time with you! You cannot do this work alone. Learning self-acceptance and how to love yourself can be a long, sometimes grueling journey, and you need support to get you there.
If you’re not seeing somebody specifically for this purpose, we highly recommend it. Work with a therapist or a life coach and dedicate an hour per week working with someone who has your best interest at heart. Then, spend time with people who bring out the best in you. The goal is to feel accepted by others and accepted by yourself – so might as well kill two birds with one stone!
If you’re really wanting to undertake the challenge of self-acceptance and learning how to love yourself, you are absolutely in the right place. Blush Life Coaching offers life coaching memberships for as little as $99/mo. Sign up today and get started immediately!
