Summer is here…
…And we know you guys are all thinking the same thing: Ugh, I need a new pair of shorts, stat. Or maybe a new bikini. And definitely a new romper. Definitely.
But then, you realize, blah, you have to go shopping. Saks doesn’t just magically appear in your closet—you need to go try it on. (And when I say Saks, I mean Forever 21.) So, unless you are an incredibly gifted online shopper (how do you guys know what is going to fit you from pictures? Such talent), you are going to need some tips on how to survive the soul shattering self-esteem sucking journey to the dressing room, romper in tow.
Here are some tips to help you survive shopping this summer.
1. Externalize the Problem
My brother recently returned back to the U.S. after a year-long stay in Meknes, Morocco. After a 387478583 hour long plane trip and a 2,000 calorie Mexican food dinner, he decided his next adventure would be to the mall. Yes, the mall. The man needed some clothes! And apparently, he needed them NOW. So, not wanting to anger it, we marched ourselves over to Northpark Mall to start scavenging for hipster wear.
I, being the the ever so stylish person I am (lol) told him to try out H&M. It’s cheap, it’s trendy, and it’s easy. Perfect. Lez go.
He tried on fitted tee after button down polo…but nothing seemed to fit. I’ll admit, he had lost some major weight on his adventure abroad, but it was kind of odd that nothing fit him. I was hoping he wasn’t starting to feel down on himself.
Ha. Not even close.
After the 5th shirt, without missing a beat, my brother put his hands in the air and announced “This place is dumb, we’re leaving.” He calmly placed his pile of unwanted shirts on the table, and simply left.
“Damn. Those clothes were stupid. What is wrong with them? I’m sure Banana Republic has NORMAL clothes.”
Mind. Boggling.
Instead of internalizing the problem (my body is all wrong, these clothes are perfect, but they don’t fit me because it’s my fault), my brother declared that H&M was BULLSHIT and that THEY were the ones with the problem. His body was fine. Nay, perfect! And we were going to find some REAL clothes that knew what was up!
Damn. If every girl out there could externalize the problem, shopping would be a much more fun experience. We wouldn’t beat ourselves up for those snug jeans or short jackets. Instead, we would assume that the designer doesn’t understand how our bodies are made. And then we would simply go find somewhere else who did understand.
I like it. Let’s do that.
Next time you’re in a store and something doesn’t fit, try to externalize the problem. Maybe that particular brand doesn’t design for broad shoulders, long torsos, or round butts. And you know what? That’s not your fault. In fact, it’s their loss, because you’re going to take your business elsewhere. Like apparently, Banana Republic.
2. Understand Lighting
One of my favorite stores in the world is Nordstrom. It’s my mothership. I worked there, not once, but twice. In two separate departments. And I STILL go there whenever I can (or more like whenever I can afford it). But really, why would you buy anything from anywhere else!? They don’t have a return policy! They returned TIRES for good