Guys, it’s time to learn how to act on a first date.
We know it can be intimidating. We are beautiful creatures. But there are certain things that you need to know about taking out a girl on a first date. So here are a few tips to hopefully help the night go smoothly, so you can get Date #2.
1. Be specific about logistics.
First of all, dating is hard. As it should be. Think about it! If you’re an Extrovert, this means you are probably chasing Introverts. It’s human nature. And lemme tell you, the Introvert’s rules are very different. You’re probably creeping her out, dude. Or, you are an Introvert and this is just painful, period.
So, to get started, here’s your first rule:
WHEN YOU CALL OR APPROACH A GIRL TO ASK HER OUT, YOU MUST ASK FOR A SPECIFIC TIME/DATE.
None of this “hey, like, maybe we should not bump into each other next time” or “yeah I’ll like text you next thurs baby gull” (?!?!) or “maybe like next weekend or somesen.”
Ew. Please. Close the date. None of the above.
So you call a girl, and you ask for a Thursday night, but she declines. That’s ok, because she said she was super busy on day. If she’s an Introvert, she’s simply nervous about talking to somebody she doesn’t know very well and the idea of a date is terrifying. I don’t even answer the phone when people who’ve known me less than a decade call. So, confidence and locking in a time helps the anxiety go away, because it gets straight to the point. No beating around the bush. No uncomfortable small talk. You are an ACTION man! (Again, stop with the gutter mind). Both of you get out your calendars and find a time that works! Yeah!
Because commitment to a date shows dedication, respect, interest, and a teeny bit of swagger. Plus, that’s the ONLY call you have to make. Winner!
By the way, if she doesn’t want to go, then she has to tell you that she doesn’t want to go, which helps you out way more in the long run. Phew, dodged that bullet.
So. To be clear. Call. Ask. Set a time. Set a place. Hang up.
2. Food must be accessible
We understand that a first date might not consist of dinner. You two are just getting to know each other, so you’re not really sure if this is going to be painfully uncomfortable or amazingly pleasant. Dinner can be super intense. So, you have a two drink limit in your mind, and if things go well, then maybe you can…keep on drinking? No. No. No. No. No. No. No. And NO.
On a first date–choose a place that has food. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t intending to necessarily order anything, just make sure non-liquid calories are served (EVEN if you’re drinking coffee).
Well, first of all, if you don’t, it looks like you are trying to get her drunk. And that is poor taste. Second, if things go well, you can order from the bar instead of aimlessly walking downtown trying to find a non-intimidating and price-point friendly casual first date restaurant. Not so easy. Third, what if she didn’t eat beforehand? Ewps.
You asked her out for a night, so you need to make sure you have some bases covered. Splitting some bar fries isn’t going to kill you or your game, so make sure you have the option.
Fourth, (yes, there is a fourth), eating food helps you NOT get tipsy. And NOT getting tipsy means you don’t accidentally mention that uber embarrassing detail you really didn’t want to share. Like, really didn’t want to. Like, crap. But looky there! Your Old Fashion just did that for ya, didn’t it?!
Shoulda had some food.
3. Ask questions!
Keep the conversation going. It is not her job to fill you in on her life, so you have to ask questions. Why did you ask her out in the first place, anyway? To get to know her better, right? So do that. Ask about her family, ask about her friends, ask about her job or major, ask about her dreams. She’ll do the same, and then you can tell her all about your pretty self, but make sure you keep the conversation focused on her. That way she won’t feel like she needs to order the five piece cheese plate in order to feel like it was worth her evening.
Oh and BONUS–you’ll get a better idea if you want a date number two. (Yes, we will have a blog for that too.)
4. Offer The Ride
Always offer transportation to and from the date. She will probs decline–and if she’s an Introvert she will most definitely decline–but offer anyway. And—don’t be bothered if/when she says thanks but no thanks. There’s really no way of telling if you’re a psycho yet.
Ugh Blush, you’re so annoying, why offer when she will probably reject me? This is awkward. I have sweaty palms now.
Welp, it shows politeness and consideration. You have already planned the date (right??!?!), so you are saving her the trouble of Google Mapping it in the dark while she is a nervous wreck because first dates are scary. Plus, if you want it to be a surprise, this is the obvious way to keep it one. Oh, and make sure your car is clean. And smells decent, por favor!
REMEMBER if’s totally fine if she declines your offer. Not only does she not know if you’re a psycho, but she also has no idea what car your drive OR your driving record. Like, for all she knows you scoot around on a motorcycle with no helmet and she doesn’t feel like dying tomorrow night.
5. You need to pay
If she offers to split, she is being polite. Do. Not. Accept. It sends the message that you did not have fun. Even if it was a snore fest, it sends the message that you are rude. Because if you accept, then you probably are.
Well, you asked HER, so you are going to pay. It’s called not being a heathen. In the future, when you start naming your flawless phantom children because Blush gave you some baller dating advice, then yeah, she can pay sometimes. But not on the first date. And not on the second. Or the third. Or the fourth. Mayyyyyybe the fifth. Maybe.
Tell her that her offer to pay is oh so very sweet, but that there isn’t a chance in hell that it’s going to happen.
Unless of course, she asked you. Then you can definitely split that check right in half.
6. If you like her, kiss her.
This whole “no kissing on the first date” is kind of dated (get it?). If she’s into it and you’re into it, then we don’t see why it’s unacceptable. What IS unacceptable, is kissing a girl when she’s not ready. Dat’s bad. It puts her in such a weird situation! And believe us, we realize that it’s really hard to read whether or not we are kiss-ready. So, Blush has a solution!
Wait, seriously man?
If things are going well and you are getting the vibe that a good night kiss will be very welcomed, then SAY it. There is nothing better than a guy simply stating the obvious–“I want to kiss you right now”….or something to that extent. It’s brave, respectful, and mature. It also lets the girl decide what she is comfortable with, and what she isn’t. When you ask her, you automatically give her control of the situation, which is the nicest thing you could have possibly done for her and yourself. Goodness knows it’s going to be awkward if you don’t ask and she rejects you.
Weird personal detail: the first time my boyfriend and I kissed, I kissed HIM because he admitted that he wanted to but wasn’t really sure how to proceed (oh and by the way, this WAS the first date, and no, he’s not a total pansy). He told me how he felt, and by doing so, he let me decide. Score. Wouldn’t you like it if the girl kissed YOU? Especially me…..because….I am so awesome. (Shake-your-head-in-agreement-now-please.)
OK boys, we wish you luck! And remember, Blush offers a limited amount of spots for relationship coaching tailored for men. Might as well give it a shot so you can feel on yo’ game.