As a female, it’s easy to feel trapped in a never-ending cycle of self loathing. And while I have not been immune to this heavy pressure, I’ve also tapped into female empowerment and have learned how fantastic it is to be a woman. I love having women as my peers and as my inspiration. In fact, I even built a life coaching business all about women helping other women.
So today’s post is all about female empowerment and how to feel better about yourself as a woman. I’m going to offer some reframes, some fun insights, and hopefully provide you with a little pep in your step over your birth or chosen gender. It’s good to be a woman!
The odds have always been against us, and are still against us. But nevertheless, we persist (love you, Lizzie!).
Think about that for a second, though. Your entire life you have been pushing a boulder up a hill, for really no reason at all. In elementary school boys were praised for being good at math, while you were scoring just as high. In middle school, you had restricted clothing choices because apparently little boys thought shoulders were sexual. In high school, you were told to select a major – but also encouraged to be open, because “you might not work your whole life.” And as young adults, you were confronted with more sexism than in the previous 15 years combined.
Everything is harder for us, because we are constantly pushing for more. Things that weren’t available to us 50 years ago are available to us now, because we keep fighting. While I don’t believe this world is fair and I know we have so much more work to do, it’s nice to bask in our victories and know they weren’t handed to us.
Everything you have accomplished, you’ve done with more resistance. Never forget that. Because that’s what true female empowerment is. Use that knowledge to fuel your next big move, and be proud of the fact that with every step you take, you’re getting stronger and stronger. And eventually, it’s going to be a cake walk to feel better about yourself.
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Overthinking and Overanalyzing
I am routinely told that women overthink. (Aren’t you?)
But it recently dawned on me that overthinking is a superpower.
Consider this – we have the ability to think about a hundred different scenarios for a specific instance. We can think about things from so many different angles and perspectives. Sure, it gets overwhelming – but it’s also kind of magical.
Everything we conjure on our mind is an actual possibility, leaving us excited, prepared, and stimulated for what’s next.
Talk about female empowerment, right?!
Of course overthinking and overanalyzing can take a dark turn if we latch onto the worst case scenario our brain hatches (one of my favorite quotes is ‘worrying means you suffer twice’) – but if we train our brain to ask ourselves, “what if it works out?” instead of “what if it doesn’t?” – we could be living in an optimistic abundance thanks to our active minds.
Point is, just because we can imagine others’ perspectives (it’s called empathy, guys), think far ahead, and understand the implications of certain decisions, does not mean we are anxious or crazy. It means we are thoughtful, intelligent, compassionate, and responsible.
And THAT is how you start to feel better about yourself.
Being High Maintenance
I used to pride myself in being “low maintenance.”
According to my own logic, this meant that I was easy-going, chill, not demanding, easy to get along with, never had any opinions, pretty much a doormat…
Yikes. So basically I valued being seen as a nothing-burger rather than being seen for myself in order to make others comfortable.
Let that sink in for a second, please!
The older I get, the more I realize being considered high maintenance is a compliment.
It means you have standards. It means you respect yourself. It means you demand respect from others. It means you have the self-confidence to expect others to help you, care for you, dote on you, and love you. It means you’re not afraid of sharing your feelings or opinions. It means you’re an empowered female.
So anytime you hear that insult being hurled at you, know that you have unleashed your unapologetic self to the world, and someone else is noticing. Don’t be surprised when someone tries to squash your spirit with that label. Unfortunately some people simply don’t know what to do with an outspoken, self-assured, empowered female, and in order to stop their discomfort, they try to diminish your legitimacy.
Don’t let them.
Embrace being high maintenance just as you would embrace being self-assured, confident, eloquent, and intelligent.
Use this knowledge to feel better about yourself every damn day.
Ah, another label people like to shame us with: Oversharers!
Because ~apparently~ it’s a bad thing to 1) Identify your feelings, 2) Translate them into words and 3) communicate them effectively with someone else.
…..what am I missing here?!
Yet it’s a label that is continually thrown on women to shame them. Relationship building is an essential part of business, community organization, religious institutions, and personal happiness. And it’s also a staple to female empowerment.
I refuse to believe that sharing our feelings, being vulnerable, creating intimacy, and relationship building are bad things.
Newsflash: it takes a lot of sharing, listening, encouraging, and opening up in order to get to truly know someone. And I commend women for being brave enough to start that process early and often. Without us, the world would be full of arm’s-length friendships and egg-shell walking romances. So, yeah, I’m grateful as f*ck for my gender. I use that insight every single time I need to feel better about myself. And I hope you are, too.
Female Empowerment Inspriation
We have some incredible women to lean on, learn from, and listen to on our journey to feeling better about ourselves.
I’ve noticed over the years that I definitely have a strong bias when it comes to women. I prefer listening to them. Taking advice from them. Reading their books. Singing their songs. Watching their movies. Being their friends.
This isn’t to say I don’t value men – I’m married to one, have a lovely father and brother, and am definitely a John Mayer fan (don’t you DARE judge me!)
But there’s something about the complexity a woman brings to her craft that I just cannot look away from! For instance, right now I am reading Untamed by Glennon Doyle (errmigad so good), watching Never Have I Ever from Mindy Kaling and Insecure from Issa Rae, (errmigad both so good), listening to Fiona Apple’s Fetch the Bolt Cutters (for real errmigad so good), learning from Rachel Cargle on Instagram (errmigad, she’s a genius, please follow her right now), and working with an all female team of women (errmigad hey Blush!).
I love the impact women have on me, which is why this site hyper focuses on women helping women.
Yes – of course everyone is welcome, but my passion, advice, and creativity will always be inspired by and tailored for us. Female empowerment is and will always be my focus.
So, with that being said, I truly hope these reframes will help you see how incredible you are, so that you can start feeling better about yourself right damn now. You deserve it.
Female Empowerment Quotes
Because we could all use some inspiration on how to feel better about ourselves.
Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.”Maya Angelou
“She wasn’t looking for a knight, she was looking for a sword.”Atticus
“Behind every successful woman is a group of other successful women, who have her back.”
“The difference between a broken community and a thriving one is the presence of women who are valued.”Michelle Obama
“There is no force more powerful than woman determined to rise.”