7 Things Extroverts Want You to Know

By April 2, 2014 21 Comments


With all the attention the Introverts are getting on the Internet, it’s time for the Extroverts to have a voice.

And our voice is louder by nature, so this shouldn’t be too hard (obligatory extraversion joke). Obviously being extroverted is awesome, but we have to deal with crap too, ok? So our friends at Blush have put their heads together to come up with some things that need to be addressed. Ladies and gentlemen…here we go. Here are seven things extroverts want you to know.

1. We Aren’t Hitting On You. Chill Out.

The great thing about being extroverted is that we really do like to socialize with everybody. The not so great (or maybe also really great) part about being extroverted is that we don’t take gender into account.

Basically, if we ask if anyone is sitting next to you, we aren’t doing that coy flirtatious bit. We just want to sit down. Or, if you down your last sip of {insert age appropriate drink here}, buying you a refill doesn’t mean we’re trying to date you. We just have good manners. (Oh, stawp!) And last but not least, if we ask for your name, we are not hitting on you. Believe me, you’ll know when we hit on you. And you will like it.

It hurts our feelings when we get in trouble for being disrespectful of romantic boundaries that aren’t even on our radar. We’re totally fine if you’re in a relationship, we just got bored and wanted to talk to somebody. Don’t get mad at us! Enjoy our gregarious nature and be open to the possibility that you might be making the coolest friend ever! (ME!)

2. We Don’t Always Want to Talk

Being extroverted doesn’t necessarily mean talking all the time.

A lot of us prefer observing or taking in information instead of gabbing to our neighbors. Extroverts by definition get a spike in energy from being around others–and that can come in many different forms. We like to be in packed restaurants on quiet dates, crowded parties while people watching, and busy work spaces for observing successful mentors. Talking isn’t always required, even if it’s always expected.



No. I’m just doing something else other than entertaining you.

My favorite example lies in one of my most extroverted friends. She continuously goes to a 7 a.m. breakfast club even though she can’t formulate words before 10 a.m. So…why does she go? Networking, learning, being around other humans…ya know. Luckily, her friends are ok with her listening and chugging coffee.

3. Sometimes We Word-Vomit

So…sometimes…we do like to talk. And when that happens, we occasionally blurt stuff out. The wrong stuff. And we’re really sorry. It’s not like we sat there for five minutes carefully selecting every word we threw out of our mouths. Believe me, if that were the case, we’d become about as efficient as Kevin.

The Office, NBC

The Office, NBC

Don’t take it personally. If we accidentally hurt your feelings, please, please, PLEASE be quick to forgive. What we lack in cautious conversation we totally make up for in and party invites & good moods.

4. We Aren’t Clingy, We Just Hate Being Alone

{Begin rant}

Ok, no more name calling, guys. Just because we actually take initiative to call our friends on Sunday nights doesn’t mean we are desperate. Maybe not everybody wants to come over and watch Game of Thrones, but admit it: it’s way more fun to watch it with other GOT nerds. I mean, who else is going to provide a night full of evil fantasy bliss topped off with Red and Blood (Ginger)Ale? Your friendly neighborhood Extrovert. That’s who. So let’s dispose of that ugly label just because we’re planning your social agenda. YOU’RE WELCOME IN ADVANCE.

{End rant}.

5. We Are People Pleasers

We know that you feel awkward around so-and-so and it’s unfortunate that you and what’s-her-face don’t quite get along…but you’ll live. We like to include everyone! The more, the merrier. Social discord isn’t our thing, and we don’t want to be in the middle of it. Yes, we have the gift of gab, but we also have the gift of getting along with a lot of people. Our energy comes from being around others. It’s only natural that we would see the good in them and want them around! So…if we have any contact with anyone in the whole wide world, they’re probably getting an invite to tonight’s plans.

©HBO Films

You’ll have to get over the fact that so-and-so and what’s-her-face will probably be there. If you want to leave others out, then you have a party. It just won’t be as fun as ours.

6. Stop Calling Us Bossy

Shoutout to the ladies out there who totally get where our homegirl Sandberg is coming from. Hashtag banbossy. We have ALL been called bossy at one point or another. I mean, at this point I can’t even stand Kelis, and it really isn’t even her fault. And the worst part is, there’s nothing to be ashamed of! We’re loud, we’re proud, but mostly, we’re dang good at getting stuff done. Like, just because Introverts won’t speak up during group projects doesn’t mean we’re bossy. Or…maybe we are bossy. Whatever. I think we’re just AWESOME. Ok, so what’s the take home message? Only WE can call ourselves bossy. Deal.

7. We Have Deep Intellectual Thoughts Too, Ya Know.

Just because we’re not Introverted doesn’t mean we’re not intellectual or mature. We just have different skill sets. Introverts might typically be better writers, designers, or analysts, but Extroverts can execute. We are the leaders, the CEOs, and the advocates. We get out there and make things happen. You know, we get stuff done.


©NBC Studios

Naturally there are times when we yearn for the ability to sit at home and just write up that report–but we would rather be in the meeting hashing out the terms. For instance, an Introvert is ghost writing this blog because the Extrovert is running around town doing things. Does that sound like a dumb person to you? Negative, Ghost-writer. (Get it?)

Instead of trying to get us to be something we’re not, let us do what we’re awesome at: getting people together. And we’ll even sing while doing it.

Remember, we don’t care if you’re Introverted or Extroverted, we just care that you’re reading this. Seriously.

Interested in personality coaching? Good, because it’s the best. Learn about what careers, friends, and partners would compliment your personality best with Blush.

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Kali Rogers

Author Kali Rogers

Kali Rogers is the Founder of Blush. You can stalk her on Instagram or follow her on Twitter. She loves the attention.

More posts by Kali Rogers

Join the discussion 21 Comments

  • I am an ambivert. I think there is no list whatsoever about that. So your list on extraverts and your list on introverts both apply to me! Sometimes I get my energy from being around people, sometimes I desperately need alone time to recharge. If I am alone too long, though, I desperately need to find myself in the middle of a crowd. STAT. I need both. I guess ambiverts are greedy that way. lol

    • Kali Rogers says:

      “I guess ambiverts are greedy”–still laughing! So great! I am so glad you relate to both–we’ll just call you “Divergent” (If you haven’t read that book, sorry for the stupid joke)

  • Bill says:

    “Most of us think we rule the world” – Extroverts.

    While the concept of #7 (deep thought) is absolutely true there’s no direct correlation to leadership or productivity in the work place, so that write-up is completely false. Some of the best leaders and CEO’s are introverts. Extroversion and Introversion is measure of how you prefer to interact with people particularly from a social perspective. An introvert is just as capable of delivering an inspiring speech we just won’t want to chit chat with you after.

    Its true that introverts are terrible salespeople and its true that we don’t network as well, but its a common misperception that introverts are people who work in the shadows by themselves while the extroverts are running things. This is exactly why many introverts are misclassified as extroverts by others. “How can you be an introvert I hear you talk all the time?”

    Smart is smart and successful is successful. Neither has really anything to do with being extroverted or introverted.

  • Anonymous says:

    … “but Extroverts can execute. We are the leaders, the CEOs, and the advocates. ”

    There was a study on this. Would post link but it was from a few years ago. It was concerning CEOs. They conducted in-depth interviews and surveys on them and found that slightly over half of CEOs are actually introverts that pretend to be extroverts in order to get ahead in the game.

  • Abigail says:

    I disagree with the whole introvert/extrovert theory. God has given everyone a variety of skill sets, and in general, people tend to adapt to whatever situation in which they find themselves, if they are deferential and desire to succeed. I have been identified as everything from, choleric, sanguine, introvert, extrovert, etc. etc. based upon who is assessing and in what environment they base those claims. I think they are all extremely relative statements, as I believe self-assessment on the whole is the majority of the time. I believe these pop-psychology trends are totally irrelevant and unfounded apart from basic observation. Few people lack adaptive nature, which I believe in the end is generally the most useful and necessary in any given circumstance.

  • Teresa R says:

    Bill…you’re right, and you’re wrong. Yes, many introverts make great leaders and are very productive in the workplace. However, the defining line between “extrovert” and “introvert” is determined, not by their ability to interact with others, but by whether they find being with people fills or drains their energy-bank.

    I’m totally comfortable talking to strangers–and I do–anywhere and at any time. I prefer to follow, but I will lead if no one else chooses to do so. Public speaking is fine with me—whether the group be 7 people or 7000. That said, being with people sucks me dry. I REQUIRE SILENCE. I need time to think, ponder, analyze, rest…w/o needing to be “on” for someone else. It’s not that I don’t care what others think–sometimes I care too much. I am vulnerable to letting others define me unless I push back and insist on alone-time to rest in who I am. And who I am changes, as I challenge myself to incorporate more of the qualities I admire, and less of those I don’t.

    Extroverts, OTOH, come away from encounters with groups with their batteries recharged. Being alone is draining to them. They like to be “on,” and they thrive in their interactions with others.

    The world would be a dull place if we were all extroverts, or all introverts. The problem arises when we, whichever side of the aisle we fall, expect others to be LIKE us, and to “understand” why we are how we are.

  • Tanya B. says:

    So basically, we are all unique and different. Good thing or else the world would be a boring place. Written by an extrovert. LOL

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  • Lorrae says:

    Much of these two posts about introverts and extroverts is pretty on target, and I’ve enjoyed reading them. I’m a total extrovert, and I often think the introverts are the lucky ones (I’m married to one and I have two as children, but only one extrovert child). They may have to deal with people in order to function in society, but they can always find alone time. You just need a good eye for finding the fire exits. But if you need people around, you can’t always just grab one off the street — it’s work to make all that togetherness happen! And sometimes it doesn’t, and it sucks. Ah well… time to go bother my daughter with some chit-chat.

  • christina says:

    In #4, you forgot to mention the soul-crushing loneliness that extroverts feel when we’re left alone for too long. If I’m alone for more than a couple hours and am not engulfed in a task, I just want to curl up into a ball and cry (and sometimes do). I’ve gone to 7-11 just to make small talk with the clerk.

  • Sally Greene says:

    I am an extrovert in a family of introverts. I love you…but you exhauste me. All assumptions and brooding. The expectation that everyone who isn’t an introvert are irrersponsible and rude. You are not the only ones who feel misunderstood.

  • Extroverts need to get more involved in hobbies that involve other people who sign up for the same hobbies…or take some classes or something. That way you’ll have some social stuff scheduled already without making demands on others’ time. Also, extroverts most definitely are bossy.

  • DyanSwan says:

    As an introvert, many of my friends are extroverts who understand introverts.

    Having said that, I do find many extroverts clueless and often annoying and rude. I base this on extroverts insisting that I attend and enjoy/have fun at a party (wedding, life event celebration), when I am counting the seconds to make a graceful exit. On extrovert managers and bosses who assume and make mandatory team building events and holiday parties.

  • […] ourselves out through someone else or something else. This is the same reason introverts and extroverts gravitate towards each other – they balance out their social energies through each […]

  • nora says:

    I m a sensitive extrovert meaning that I can sense when I m not being liked or welcomed by others. ie I m married to a man whose more introverted so we clash. When I just being me and going full ramp he feels threatened by my sometimes overly eager reponses to well just about anything. He s says i m looking for attention “look at me” when I just excited or expressing myself. OH he tells me all the time that I m bossy which I dont think I m am but will go ahead to get stuff down. Also, in my own family most of them are mostly introverts which yup they are annoyed by me.. soooo there.

  • Katherine says:

    I realize this post is super old, but oh well. See, as an intense introvert, I’m working really hard on trying to learn how to care for the extroverts in my life. Lists like this unfortunately tend to widen the gulf though.

    Let’s take point number 1., for example. Paraphrasing the last paragraph: “I’m wonderful and amazing and you should feel lucky to have the opportunity to be my friend.” Ok…all people have value, sure, but did you stop to think that maybe you aren’t as awesome as you thought, or maybe I just don’t have time/energy to properly invest in a new friend, or maybe I’m already socially exhausted and this just isn’t a good time to strike up a conversation with me? It’s ok for you to try to reach out, but it’s also completely ok for me to have boundaries and say “no” (and hopefully I’m polite about it) whether I think you’re hitting on me or not.

    3. So, I shouldn’t be hurt when you regularly say hurtful things because you can’t be bothered to think before you speak? But it’s ok because you will make up for it by inviting me to parties – nevermind that I don’t actually enjoy parties.

    4. You’re planning my social life for me and I’m supposed to be thankful for it. (You know, because you’re not bossy.) Guess what? Group activities are usually stressful (draining) to me – it literally takes me days to recoup that energy! I resent being expected to join in just because you decided to get together with people. Go ahead and plan stuff. I sincerely appreciate the invitation, but don’t be offended when I choose not to participate half the time. You might have the stronger personality, but I’m still in charge of me. I’d rather meet up with you one-on-one the next day for brunch so that I can spend time with *you*. And since you can rarely get too much interaction, that should be fine with you, right?

    5. So you want to combine everyone you know in one room? Ok, great. Go ahead. See my comments on 4. above.

    6. You think you’re awesome (I happen to think I’m awesome too – so what? ). And you get to decide whether I think you’re bossy or not….do you hear it? If you are telling another grown person what to do you are bossy. Again, healthy boundaries go a long way here.

    7. By all means, get stuff done. I’ll be here at my desk getting different, but no less important, stuff done.

    Introvert or extrovert, we just need to work on being thoughtful of each other and respecting boundaries.

    • Kali Rogers says:

      Hi! This post was mostly meant to be humorous and point out our obvious differences. You can also check out our introvert blog which you might like a little better. Thanks for the feedback!

  • Nanahi-hi says:

    I find that people judge me for being extroverted, people just assume that I am stupid and that I cannot have a serious conversation. All I want to do is try to have those conversations but apparently, I can’t. I find that people respect and have serious conversations with Introverts. I’m not stupid, some people are shocked when I get a better score than one of my Introverted friends- why is that shocking? We are both very smart individuals. I feel like it holds me back- cause I am actually starting to believe I am not as smart as I am. This is only my experience, this probably isn’t how it is with everyone.

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