“So, are you dating anyone?”
UGHHHHHHH.
You know this question is coming at you by the barrel over the next coming weeks. And even if it WEREN’T the holiday season it’s not like this is a foreign question to you. You hear it all the freaking time. And with each curious inquiry, a piece of your confidence is torn.
There are a million reasons why this question is so commonly asked. It’s mostly innocent curiosity, with a little bit of small talk and a dash of social ignorance. People typically mean well. But that doesn’t excuse the fact that it’s incredibly irksome. You’re not crazy for wanting this question abolished by the English language.
But the reality is, it’s unavoidable. People are going to ask. So your job is to keep your head held high and remain confident regardless of what social setting you are in. Here is how to feel confident as a single woman in any situation:
Focus on the Facts
If we’re being honest with each other, typically when someone asks us about our relationship status, we take it in the worst possible way. We don’t hear, “Hey! Is there anyone fun in your life right now?” Instead, we hear something to the tune of, “Are you a desirable person to be around yet?” or, “Have you finally reached adulthood by securing a stable relationship?” or, even worse, “Have you fixed whatever emotional issue was wrong with you yet?”
Ouch. No wonder we get so annoyed.
I do understand that asking someone whether or not they are in a relationship feels judgmental. That’s because society puts so much pressure on women to be “tied down” by a certain age. But you know what? A lot of us don’t freaking want to be in relationships yet. We have other things on our mind. And PS, this isn’t 1594 and we live past the age of 30 now, OK AUNT KAREN?
There. Is. No. Freaking. Rush.
I know it’s hard to ignore those cutting insinuations, but hear me out. Try to tune out any hidden meanings and focus on the facts of the question. Are you dating somebody right now? No. Why not? Because you have other shit to do. Because you don’t want to waste your time kissing toads. Because modern dating is a joke and you have decided to sit out for a bit until everyone else can grow the F up.
If you’re not convinced yet, thats ok. I’m not done.
Here are a few more facts of what being single could possibly mean:
You are not on your way to getting divorced (yay.)
You are getting to know yourself better
You are selective with romantic partners
You prefer to take things slowly with potential partners
You are focusing on your platonic friendships
You are focusing on your career
You are taking a healthy amount of time to grieve an old relationship before jumping into something else
You are developing a deeper spiritual relationship
You are busier with more important things
These are just a few facts, btw.
Question.
Do any of those facts reek of desp