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relationships Archives | Page 3 of 5 | Blush Online Life Coaching

DEAR BLUSH: Feeling the Aftermath of a First Breakup

By | Breakups | No Comments

 

aftermath of breakup

 

aftermath of breakup

Dear Blush,

I am 25 years old and I am feeling the aftermath of my first break up. It’s only been a few hours but I feel like dying. I’ve recently moved out on my own and couldn’t stay here alone so we practically lived together. He even bought me a puppy to help me feel safe and not lonely. He took away the puppy and I’m here all alone. I can’t do anything – I can’t eat, I can’t watch TV. I already sent him a long text saying I couldn’t live without him. He hasn’t responded. What do I do? I feel utterly empty and lost. Read More

Four Ways to Fight Clean

By | Relationships | One Comment
fight clean

 
 
Let me start out by stating the obvious: everybody fights. 

He accidentally snaps after a rough and flustered day, you snap back feeling under-appreciated…it happens. Or, it doesn’t, because maybe you’re too afraid “to go there” – and you end up collecting little bits of angry feelings and releasing them all at once later down the road. Yikes. Read More

An Open Letter From Introverts

By | Personality | 149 Comments
introverts

 
 

Hi, it’s us, Introverts.

 

We just wanted to write a quick note to everyone to clear the air. We know that we can be hard to read, a little closed off, and even irritable sometimes, but we do love you. To help you deal with us, we have put together a list of things you should know about Introverts!

1. Weekdays Are Me Days.

“Errr…Book Club is on Mondays? Um. Ok I can’t make it. Ever. Why? Because it’s on Monday.”

NBC niketalk.com

©NBC

We swear it’s not because we don’t like you. And it’s also not just because we want to catch up on True Detective (nightmares for days). The reality is, we don’t want to have to be “on” for three more hours. Socializing is for the weekends and the occasional Thursday (or every Thursday if you’re in college). We’re up for it then. We’re not up for it on Mondays. Of course we bend the rules for breakups, important meetings, or special occasions. So basically, if it’s not your birthday, it can wait ’til Friday. Read More

How to Get Over a Breakup

By | Breakups | 11 Comments
get over a breakup

 
 

Feeling rejected sucks. But knowing how to get over a break up and make it stick might be even worse.

 
It doesn’t matter if you were dumped, you did the dumping, or the dumping just kind of happened—it still feels like someone took a dump all over you. One of our all time favorite books EVER, It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Break-Up Buddy by Greg Behrendt, perfectly outlines how all of us can swiftly get past those awful post breakup feelings. We seriously have girls come to us everyday asking how to get over their most recent breakup, and although every situation is definitely different…there seems to be a method to this madness. So, you can grab the book, or you can read our take on it here! Read More

How to Spot and How to Handle Red Flags in Relationships

By | Relationships | 2 Comments

 
 

red flags in relationships

The early stages of relationships can be so much fun.

Dinner, dancing, texting, flirting, kissing….awww. It’s just the best. You’re so excited you can hardly see straight, right!? Yep. And that’s the problem. You can hardly see straight – so you miss those red flags in relationships.

We get it. It’s super easy to miss those red flags in the early stages of relationships–instead of looking out for those bright indicators that things aren’t what we think they are, we view the world with rosy colored lenses and let anything suspicious pass us by. But girls, red flags are NOT just for decoration. There are always signs that a relationship isn’t really what it’s cracked up to be, and that is why we are here! We help you find them. Read More

What NOT To Do in a Relationship

By | Relationships | 3 Comments
relationship bad habits

 
 

We like to be positive here at Blush.

We like to tell you nice things to do, because, they’re easier to follow and frankly, usually more productive. But…sometimes there are certain behaviors that we continuously execute that kind of ruin all of the good stuff. Like, in relationships. Actually, ESPECIALLY in relationships. Read More

How to Find the Right Relationship

By | Relationships | 7 Comments
find relationship advice

 

We get it. You’re exhausted.

 

Maybe you’re tired of being single, maybe you’re sick of the wrong relationships, or maybe you’re just over the whole dating scene. Whatever it is, we’re here to help you find a relationship that is worthy of your time. We know you deserve it, because you are reading Blush blogs which automatically qualifies you as being a really awesome human. So let’s do this. Read More

9 Qualities of Successful Couples

By | Blush Boys, Relationships | 3 Comments
successful relationships

 

1. They’re Not Afraid to Fight

Oh yeah, successful couples definitely fight. Definitely. And they aren’t afraid of it one bit.  Because what successful couples know that most others don’t, is that fighting makes the snarking go away. Arguments unleash what’s at the heart of misunderstandings and sarcastic side comments. Any hidden feelings are shoved right out into the spotlight and are forced to be acknowledged. And once everything is left out in the open…the only way to move, is forward. And, wouldn’t ya know it, all of those small problems vanish. Craaaazy business.

So….yep, that’s most likely why happy couples also aren’t afraid to exclaim, “RELATIONSHIPS TAKE FREAKING WORK.”

2. They Apologize and Bounce Back Quickly

Although happy couples aren’t afraid to spend a night hashing it out, they also bounce back at an exceptionally fast rate. There’s no grudge holding, no pouting, no resentment, and definitely no rebound fight introducing itself around 10 pm on a Saturday night. (Gah those are the worst).

Successful couples honestly don’t have time for that. They know that when a fight is over, it’s time to say sorry and get on with their lives. Apologizing is incredibly important to establish respect, empathy, problem solving, and the fact that they were LIST-EN-ING. They don’t skip over it, that is, unless they want to keep goin’ at it. And once those two golden words are out of the way, it’s game time. Here’s lookin’ at you, date night.

3. They Don’t Compare

Just like you don’t compare your dog to someone else’s dog, successful couples don’t compare their relationship to someone else’s relationship. Love trumps comparison. Successful couples love their idiosyncrasies and complicated layers, so they naturally realize the frequency of other’s fights or the size of a wedding ring doesn’t have anything to do with them. Their happiness and success is only measured by their own opinions, and it is never based on how their friends’ relationships are doing.

Plus, if there were reallyyyyy a competition, you know who would win.

Kidding…!

4. They Speak Their Truth

While keeping the other person’s feelings in mind, these couples aren’t afraid to speak pretty dang honestly with one another. They have made an agreement that they can share their needs and wants without a huge steaming side of defensiveness. This doesn’t mean they have to tell each other EVERY SINGLE DETAIL OF EVERY SINGLE THING…but it does mean that they feel comfortable in sharing whatever they need to. Everyone has their limits, ya know?

5. They Take Care of Themselves

Whether they see a relationship counselor together, or they seek out their own individual method of self help, they get it done.  Successful couples know that the key to taking care of each other, is to take care of themselves. They don’t let their own emotional crap pile up and soil the relationship. (Ew). Instead, they face their baggage on a daily basis, and work hard to make sure they are the healthiest version of themselves possible.

Happy life, happy wife. (See what I did there?).

6. They Don’t Let the Past Get in the Way

Successful couples might know all about each other’s exes and crazy experiences and not so flattering episodes…but they certainly don’t hold it against each other. They appreciate each other’s exes. Yes, really. They appreciate that these people molded their partners into the people they are today.

And…well…also…there’s that little chance that exes make us look like rockstars.

Overall, successful couples don’t spend their relationship in the past. They choose to be secure in their current relationship They reflect on their previous experiences, share a few deep moments and light laughs, and move forward.

 

7. They Take Five

Although physical space usually isn’t up for grabs, alone time is. During heated conversations, long vacations, or any other time that might merit some alone time, they jump for it. They realize although it’s healthy to be together, it may not be healthy to be together 24/7. Cause otherwise, they would most likely want to pull their hair out every other second.

*On another note, it’s not lost on successful couples that most likely, one is probably an Introvert and one is an Extrovert. That’s typically how it goes. So, they embrace their personalities without letting it offend the other. The introvert is allowed to skip the party while watching The Mindy Project (OK fine..that’s me..) while the Extrovert can go to the party without feeling like they’re leaving the other behind. They can do their own thing without a humongous fight. And it works. Swimmingly.

8. They Don’t Help Shame

Successful couples gratefully accept help in any way, shape or form. When one partner offers to help the other, there isn’t any “help shaming.” Help is accepted at all times and forms, because it’s nice. Successful couples realize that help shaming creates resentment and oddly enough…little desire for the other to help. Imagine that! So, if one offers to help do the dishes, you ignore the soap still lingering on the plates. If one makes the bed and forgets the decorative pillows, you will survive.

And, last but not least, when Rachel tries to make a trifle but accidentally halves it with shepherds pie, you let it go. Poor baby girl tried really, really hard!!!

9. They Speak Each Other’s Love Language

Now, even though Blush recognizes that love languages are a pit of pop culture, they still hold some truth. To summarize quickly–here are the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, accompanied by examples:

1. Words of Affirmation
Compliments–you are so smart, you look pretty
2. Acts of Service
Tasks–taking out the trash, picking one up from the airport
3. Receiving Gifts
Presents–buying her a necklace or him a new shirt
4. Quality Time
Date night–individual time together
5. Physical Touch
Cuddling!!!!! Hand holding!!!!

Even though pretty much everybody likes all 5 languages, we tend to prefer one or two over the rest. Successful couples know their partner’s love language, and try very hard to practice it. Hardly ever do partner’s love languages match, so it’s important that they understand their own, but adjust their actions to reflect their partner’s.

 

To sum up, if you need relationship coaching—you should join Blush. Now.

The DTR: Define the Relationship

By | Blush Boys, Relationships | No Comments

 
 

define the relationship

THE DTR: DEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP

 
 

D. T. R. Three small letters that can make even the strongest of men wet their pants at the beginning of a relationship. But fear not, Blush humans…we have you covered. After talking to one of our dear Blush boys, (who happens to be fabulous), we realized this phase is the crappiest of all when it comes to relationships. I mean, if he’s confused, we’re all freakin’ doomed. So, for all of you budding lovers out there, we have your guide to figuring out exactly how to handle this stress ball of a situation. Go ahead, breathe deep, and accept the the inevitable.

Girls & guys, it’s time to define the relationship.
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