Let’s admit it: Valentine’s Day for the single girl can be a little difficult.
We’re still recovering from the craziness that was the holiday season, we are bound and determined to continue our New Years Resolutions even though the novelty of it all is a bit worn now, and we are faced with the reality that the big V Day is around the corner. Date or no date, Valentine’s Day can be stressful for everyone.
If you’re attached, awesome. You go girlfriend. Grab your love, go out on the town, and make a night of it. But for the rest of us who might not have a special someone to share it with, we’ve got you covered. Here is your guide for the single girl Valentine’s Day – because you deserve a romantic evening no matter what.
1. Reflect and Set an Intention
Ok, bear with me. I’m going to get a little cheesy on you.
I want you to think of Valentine’s Day as your “Romance New Year.” You know how on New Years Eve we spend at least a little bit of time reflecting back on where we were the year before, and what all we have accomplished since then? We think about our aspirations, our goals, and all of the surprises that happened along the way. We think about the downfalls, the turmoil, and how we are hopefully one step closer to getting through the quarter life crisis. No matter how crappy the past year might have been, we can always find some ounce of growth in us as people – and we always seem to be hopeful for what the new year will bring.
So….this year I would like for you to treat Valentine’s Day in the same suit, except focus on the romantic aspect of your life.
Spend at least thirty minutes on February 14th reflecting back on your romantic endeavors over the past year. It might not be the most FUN thing to do, but it will help you set an intention and goals for the upcoming year. We don’t always have to focus on the romantic element of our lives – but companionship is important. We can’t deny that. Love doesn’t have to strike tomorrow or even by next year, but set some goals on what you would like to see happen over the next twelve months. Focus on how you can improve better as a person and as a partner. Think about the kind of person that will bring out the best in you and allow you to accomplish both individual authenticity and mutual companionship. Think about the things you don’t want in a relationship – and what you would like to avoid next year. Think about how you can make the right relationships last. There’s a lot to think about, and a lot to aspire to.
Remember, if you don’t ask, you can’t receive.
2. Buy Yourself Something FUN
I don’t care if you are broke as a joke or rolling in the dough – please buy yourself something special. It doesn’t matter if you are ALL about the Big V Day or you absolutely loathe it – I am telling you to buy something sweet for yourself.
Why? Because you deserve it. Because single girls deserve something sweet, sexy, or sassy once a year, too. Because your relationship with yourself deserves just as much celebrating as other people’s relationships with each other. So go ahead – grab that perfect shade of pink lipstick you’ve been drooling over. Blow a few extra dollars on the shoes that would go perfectly with the dress you got for Christmas. Splurge on a nice box of chocolates that you would seriously never ever buy any other time of the year. Just make sure you get yourself one gift to honor the commitment, time, and energy you have put into your relationship with yourself.
3. Plan, Plan, Plan
Do not wing this one. It’s super convenient to write off Valentine’s Day as just another day and figure ‘whatever happens, happens’ like plenty of weekends – but it hardly ever works out that way. There’s always some sort of reminder or trigger that, hey, it’s Valentine’s Day, and you don’t have set plans. UGH. No matter how strong or resilient you are – it’s hard not to let feelings of loneliness or disappointment get to you. So come up with a plan.
It doesn’t matter if you want to stay in and watch a movie with pizza and chocolate, or if you would rather go out to the movies (this one looks pretty funny) or treat yourself to a fun dinner with friends. Just have a plan for the day. Yes, it might be ‘just another day’ – but at least you can fend off any feelings of anxiety or uncertainty by sticking to your plan of action.
4. Swap Valentines
Remember in school when everyone brought each other valentines to school? (I wish I went to school with this guy). We got cards and candy and silly heart shaped treats and everything was so fun! It didn’t matter if you had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. It didn’t matter if you had a ring on your finger or a date on Saturday night. We just got to celebrate love in the abstract. And it was so much fun.
So let’s bring it back! Grab your friends – single or not – and swap some Valentine’s Day treats. Go old school and grab the Hello Kitty or Spiderman cards. Tell the people in your life that you love them and that you’re happy you two are friends. It’s fun! Valentine’s Day is NOT have to be a celebration of couples – it is a celebration of love. And you love a lot of people in your life, and they love you. So give them a tacky Lisa Frank love note to prove it.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
If you’d like some extra support as Valentine’s Day approaches or have some relationship stress happening in your life – it might be time to sign up for Blush. Your personal life coach can help you work through unresolved feelings, clarify your wants and needs, and move forward in a better direction. We’re here for you.
Tell us below, what are your Valentine’s Day plans?
Also published on Medium.
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