If you are anything like me, then pride has played a beneficial role in your life. It’s saved you from embarrassing and cringeworthy situations. It’s made sure you held yourself together during trying and unhappy times. It’s tempered your emotions and calmed you down when your self-confidence was being beaten to a pulp. But, I hope you also realize, that your pride is holding you back.
Your pride has kept you from being vulnerable. It’s shut others out and encouraged you to shy away from being deeply authentic with loved ones. It’s kept you from seeking out help and it’s definitely sugar coated a lot of your feelings. It might have even prompted you to lie instead of being fully honest about what was going on inside your head.
Pride is probably one of the biggest things I struggle with in my life, and I know you struggle with it, too. But letting your pride hold you back is a mistake. And taking back ownership of your life experiences is something we all have to work on every day.
So here are some tips that I have used in my life that I hope you can try to adopt, too.
Understand that you are only human
It’s easy to think that we are special or different from others. We want to be just a little bit above everyone else in the way we handle ourselves or react to life’s challenges. We want to be one step ahead of the game and make sure that from the outside looking in, our life seems perfect.
A lot of times, this strategy does us well. Our life continues to move forward as we take on more and more.
Until one day, it doesn’t. And we feel excruciatingly alone.
It is a guarantee that there will be times when you feel like giving up. Times when you just want to cry. Times when you question everything you’ve been working towards. But your pride stops you from letting it out. So instead of talking about it or sharing it or confessing all of your icky feelings – you bottle it up. Because letting others see who you are is scary! And your pride is constantly whispering in your ear that you are better than these vulnerable feelings.
In these moments, you need to remember that you are only human.
You do not always have to don your red cape and fly around town saving others. You don’t always have to wear your steel mask to keep others out. And you definitely can’t always carry around a magic wand, putting our fires everywhere you go.
You’re just a human. And humans mess up and have feelings and don’t always have it together.
So give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to ugly cry and share your feelings with whomever you wish. Tell your pride to pack up and leave you alone for a few days. You deserve a little human break.
Be As Honest as Possible
Your pride has less control over what you say and how you feel if you’re just honest.
Easier said than done, right?
It’s not like we can just go around town saying exactly what we feel exactly when we feel it. Life isn’t that simple. But we can try to silence that voice in our head that tells us to say the socially acceptable thing above all else.
Try to ignore your pride when it whispers:
“Downplay your feelings.”
“It’s not as bad as you think.”
“Be an adult. Adults don’t cry.”
“Don’t show any weakness.”
You gotta be honest. You gotta share. You gotta let it out.
Your pride is holding you back from experiencing true connection and validation. Every time you let your pride reel you back in, you are harboring emotions that need be come out. Holding everything in isn’t natural, and it isn’t healthy. So tell your pride to be quiet and let the real you come out.
Challenge yourself to be vulnerable
So not only am I going to ask you to start being honest, but I’m also going to ask that you put yourself in vulnerable situations.
Not scary vulnerable, just vulnerable.
Get used to exposing yourself here and there. Make sure that you aren’t constantly staying in your comfort zone because your pride is telling you that you always have to be perfect. Branch out. Peel back the onion. Put yourself in positions where you might not shine the brightest or you might not be sure how to act.
If your pride prevents you from crying in front of other people, shed a tear here and there when you feel sad.
If your pride prevents you from trying new things because it doesn’t want you to fail, sign up for something new just to see how it goes.
If your pride is scared of you getting hurt, go on a few dates anyway.
And, if your pride is restricting your ability to lean on others, start confiding as soon as possible.
These situations are when your pride is going to speak up the loudest. So this is when you gotta practice telling it to shut the hell up.
It is going to be super uncomfortable. You are going to feel totally out of your element and probably a little naked. But you will get used to it. Being vulnerable is the best to way feel authentic. Plus, let’s be real, nobody likes being friends with someone who *always* has it all together and *always* knows what to say. That’s boring. People like to be friends with humans! And you are one of those, remember?
You can do it. Your comfort zone will always be there when you come back.
Start Asking For Help
This is the biggest experience pride is stripping away from you: the ability to just ask for help.
You need it. I need it. Everyone needs it. But you aren’t asking for it or even allowing the possibility for someone else to help you because your pride is holding you back.
You are not above someone else being able to help you. Your pride is tricking you into thinking you have all the answers – but you don’t. And you never will. Why? Because you are human.
You deserve support. You deserve validation. You deserve advice. You deserve attention. You deserve empathy. And you deserve help.
Your pride can’t do any of that for you. All it can do is hold you back from experiencing life in order to keep you “safe.” But the only thing you are safe from is embarrassment. And the more you practice, the less embarrassed you will be. And trust me, the benefits of asking for help definitely outweigh the benefits of enabling your pride.
Take a deep breath, and accept the fact that you are not going to be able to take care of yourself at all times. Humans are meant to live within communities for a reason. We are social creatures, and we need each other. So take advantage of the resources you have and ASK for help. The only thing you will regret is that you didn’t start asking earlier.
Think your pride is holding you back?
I know the feeling. And it’s probably going to take more than this blog to help you move past it. You’re going to need someone to hold you accountable, call you out when you start to fall back into hold habits, and pave the way for your new vulnerable state of being. It takes effort. It takes dedication. And it is going to take actual help. Which is where we come in.
The deal is, you probably haven’t signed up for Blush *because* of your pride.
Your pride is telling you that seeking help and letting somebody else care about you and help you through this confusing time is a sign of weakness. But it’s not. It’s a sign of strength.
Letting somebody else in is vulnerable – so I challenge you to give it a shot.
Sign up for Blush today to see what a life coach can do for you AND your pride. Only $79/mo. Sign up today!
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