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Tis the season for endless weddings, dates on dates, and fabulous flirting all through September and beyond. However, with dating, comes stress. Don’t even TRY to deny it because you talk to us about it every week. Therefore we wanted to introduce an interesting topic in dating that isn’t discussed that often at all. And–it’s for da girls AND da boyz.
We aren’t here to convince you that body language is the ONLY thing to look out for while dating–quite the contrary–but it’s kind of fun to talk about. So, since we’re playing, here are five tips to take note about dating with body language this summer.
Mirroring is a rather funny behavior that works pretty well in determining whether or not they are into it, or YOU are into it. It’s pretty simple to detect, too. Just watch yourself and your date to see if you two are mirroring each other. When you take a drink, does he grab for his glass, too? When he starts taking a bite, are you jibber jabbing or stuffing your face as well? Even shifting one’s weight can cause a date to rearrange their seating position. And it’s really funny to watch.
It makes sense, though! Dates tend to go well when the couple is in sync (ok get your lame JT jokes out of the way now). You are usually eating, drinking, laughing, and conversing at the same time. There may be a few quiet pauses now and then, but for the most part, things seem to be in developing in a rather nice rhythm. Just promise not to sip your water five times in 30 seconds to see if they do, too. Cause dats weird.
During conversations, it’s typically normal for couples who are very in tune with each other to mimic speaking styles. Le wha?
Let’s use story telling as an example. Let’s stay you are telling a story, whenever there’s a funny part (there’s a funny part, right?) you speed up your rate and raise your voice. Ok, got it. Now, it’s his turn to do the talking, and when he tells his punch line, you notice his voice speeds up and gets a little higher too! Aww, y’all are so cute.
If you’re still not sure what we mean, flip on one episode of The West Wing and watch Josh Lyman and Donna Moss interact. You’ll get it then. (#RelationshipGoals).
Let’s break this down. The easiest way to detect this is simply by how close you are standing towards each other. If you notice that your personal space is becoming rather narrow, then there’s a good chance there’s some major flirting going on. Now boys, don’t get too close and violate the poor girl’s personal space–and girls–speak up if you feel uncomfy. However, if you’re walking close enough together that you could hold hands, now that’s some good first date material!
Second, is your butt glued to your seat? Probs not, because you are leaning in towards your super cute date. The less you plant your body to your chair, the more room you have to close the physical distance between the two of you. Good to know, eh?
When you are on a pretty rough first date, typically you are keeping your extremities to yourself. You have your arms crossed, your hands tucked, your feet under your chair, and you are not opening any of that up for newbody. Everything is compressed tightly in, as if to say “GO AWAY. YOU STINK.” It looks something really uncomfortable. And you’ll be pretty entertaining for the couple hanging next to you.
So…the opposite would mean…more body gap equals more attraction. If you notice that your arms and hands are on the table, as if reaching towards the other person, there are probably some butterflies dancing around in your tummy. Yep, you’re into it. You are open to the other person, and your body is diggin’ it.
Last but not least, the good ole alignment trick. The couple above is also really sucking at this, too.
The test really comes down to: when you are sitting or standing across/beside/close to each other, are your bodies aligned towards each other?
Ok, well here are easy ways to check.
a) Are your toes lined up and facing each other?
b) Are your hips squared towards each other?
c) Are your shoulders lining up?
If you answer “yes” to any of those three questions, then you probably pass this test. It’s a good litmus test for your rhythm and interest in the other person. If someone is completely aligned to your body language, then there is more eye contact, more facial exchanges, and more attention being shared. Awesome Blossom.
Ok, have fun dating frands!
Is your dating life not going as well as you’d like? That’s ok. We’ve been there. Sign up with us for relationship coaching–we’ve totally got your back. If you’re a guy, you are welcome to join as well, but note that male memberships are limited!