Sep 28, 2016 by Kali Rogers
attract the right relationship

 
 
Are you sick and tired of being single? Are you ready to settle down? Hang out with someone you like? Find your “buddy”? Then you  need to know how to attract the right partner for you.

But…how? I’ll put it simply.
 

Your vibe attracts your tribe.
 

Your view attracts your boo.
 
Your maturity attracts your security.

 
And so on and so forth. You get it.

There’s a reason we meet certain people at certain times. I’m not going to get too spiritual on you – but I do believe in attraction and energy. You get what you put out – or something eerily like it. Life is a constant balancing act, and we are subconsciously trying to find ways to balance ourselves out through someone else or something else. This is the same reason introverts and extroverts gravitate towards each other – they balance out their social energies through each other.

So what does this mean, and how does this play into attraction?

A few things.

I believe that in order to attract a suitable person for you, you need to be a suitable person yourself. And the best way to achieve that, is to chase balance all by yourself. It’s not the most glamorous or exciting endeavor out there, but it might just guarantee a much better life partner in the long run.

This is how you attract the right partner for you:
 

Focus on Emotional Stability

Notice how whenever you feel desperate for connection, you’re living in an emotional ghost town?

This isn’t an accident.

Again – remember – life is a balancing act. If you have all of the emotions bursting out of you at any given moment, you are going to attract someone who can barely identity what it feels like to be happy. You are giving off vibes that you are out of sync, and your natural romantic partner will be someone who evens you out.

But that’s not what you want. If you are emotionally charged, you are going to want someone who wants to discuss those emotions. And that will absolutely not happen. Emotionally stunted people don’t want to talk about feelings. So you’re left in a bit of an uncomfy spot.

In order to find someone who is emotionally available to you – you must be emotionally stable yourself.
Do not (subconsciously) search for someone to balance you out. Instead, learn to identity, understand, and process your emotions individually. Build your emotional resilience. Feel everything you possibly can, and adopt coping and processing skills to make the task easier. The better you get at processing feelings yourself – the more stable you will become and less dependent you will be on anyone else for emotional security. If you need help with this, that’s exactly what a fabulous Blush life coach is for!

The right partner will be your equal, not your balancing act. You can still be sensitive. You can still have emotions. But you won’t be depending on anyone else to handle them for you.
 

Focus on Happiness

Aside from emotionally stability, in order to attract an optimistic, confident, happy person – we ourselves need to be – you guessed it – optimistic, confident, and happy.

This can be difficult, especially when you are sick and tired of being single. It’s easy to slip into negative self-talk and pessimistic thinking. You start to believe that you actually deserve to be alone – otherwise you would have somebody.

But that is not true.

Being single is less about a lack of relationship with somebody else and more about the relationship you have with yourself. You have time to heal yourself from any past heartbreak. You have time to get to know yourself better and focus on your wants and needs. You have time to start putting yourself first. And most importantly, you have to start having your own back. Until you do those things, you won’t be truly happy.
 
 

ATTRACTING HAPPINESS

 

I also believe it is possible to attract good things into our life. Part of being happy is simply being delusional. It sounds weird, but here’s an example:

Let’s say something bad happens. You don’t get the job you really wanted. Your rent gets jacked up and you are forced to move. You and a friend have a falling out. All of these things suck. Some people will wallow in the misery and wonder, “why me?”. They will pick apart the facts until they can prove that they deserved all of this bad stuff. They will excitedly play the victim. And for some reason, more bad things start to snowball.

Others will find the silver lining. They will actively try to find a positive perspective to protect themselves from falling victim to irrational negative thinking. They know that plenty of reasons could be behind the negative setback – but that choosing to believe the least destructive theory only stands to benefit their mental health.

And wouldn’t you know it? Their mantra “this wasn’t the right opportunity for me” turns into landing an even better job the following month. They’re reasoning of “perhaps it was simply time to move” turns into them securing an incredible apartment and meeting fabulous new neighbors. And coincidentally or not, that “friend” they were fighting with turned out to be a pretty terrible person. That fight was actually their escape from an abusive situation, and they are grateful for it.

Sure, maybe all of it is delusional. But I’ll be damned if it doesn’t work. Because the people who adopt these self preserving tricks are the ones who seem way happier in life.

So try it out. You have the time right now to now focus on yourself, your thought processes, and your theory of happiness. Start cheering from yourself from the inside. Be your own advocate. Have your own back. Create a positive environment for you to explore. And instead of focusing on your future partner – focus on yourself.
 

*This* is how you are going to inevitably attract the right partner for you – because if you are happy – you will attract more happy things. With that kind of thinking, a bad date is now a *great* thing because you are still available to meet someone worthy of your time instead of being tied down to an asshat who made you feel bad about your career choice. Honestly, like how dare he?

Happiness breeds more happiness. Happy people hang around other happy people. Your vibe attracts your tribe.

Be happy with yourself, other happy beings will pick up on it and come running. And when that happens, it will simply be a bonus to your complete life. One that you’ll deeply cherish.
 

 

Focus on Growth

Movement attracts other movement. So if you are moving forward, you will attract someone else’s forward movement. And if you’re regressing…well. You can only imagine what that will attract.

Time is going to pass regardless of what you choose to do with it. I personally am in favor of growth. And I think your future relationship can only stand to benefit from growth as well. But you have to take action NOW in order to see results LATER.

Trust me, relationships can function when they are regressing, standing stationary, or progressing. You two can be buried in your pasts – ruminating over “what could have been,” creating unnecessary jealousy, and avoiding future plans. You can be happily positioned in the present – living every moment as it comes and not worrying about what’s ahead. Or, you can have your eyes set on the future, and making sure your “now” counts for tomorrow.

What kind of relationship do you want?

I’m biased, but I would like the third for all of you. At least, if a serious relationship is what you are gunning for. Otherwise, you’d probably be happy as a peach with door #2 (and forget about commitment). But if you want to find someone to build a future with, then you need to start building one for yourself today. Send it out into the universe – and you’ll be tickled pink with what comes back.

 
 

Want to attract the right partner for you?

 

Then you have to work on yourself, first. And that’s where we come in. You should absolutely take our completely free course that will improve your emotional health in two weeks. And then, you should sign up with your very own life coach to handle the individual and unique obstacles you are facing. We are trained counselors turned life coaches who are ready to inspire you, validate you, understand you, and MOTIVATE you. You have more than enough time to attract and build the life you want, but you don’t have to do it alone. Join us and together we’ll figure it all out!

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Kali Rogers is the Founder, Janitor, and CEO of Blush. You can stalk her on Instagram or ask her whatever you want via email. She loves the attention.